I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
