I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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