Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
