i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
