Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
