Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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