:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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