We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
