I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
