Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
