Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fuck me I smell like cheese
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
