there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
