We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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