apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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