did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
