Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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