If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
where does the pee come out of this thing
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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