How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
