Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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