Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
