Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
