It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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