was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
