he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
