I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
