yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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