What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
