Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
