I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
