this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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