mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize