Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
