And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
