Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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