Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
