I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Success! We fucked roommates!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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