Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
