I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
