she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
