the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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