Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
