why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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