what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I think my moral compass just broke
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
