When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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