I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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