I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
