I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
