this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
