hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
