I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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