Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
