At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize