So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
