Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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