do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
