I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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