this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
