All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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