I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
