Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
